As I am sure you have read, I really, really like R.E.M.’s new CD Accelerate. If you didn’t know that, you obviously didn’t read my review and that hurts my heart. You may feel free to stop reading “Musings” now, because we are no longer friends. However, if you would be interested in finding your way back into my heart, go read it. It’s kinda long.

I put an A.P.B. out to a bunch of my more creative/humorous/bored friends a few weeks back looking for help in naming my new short film/writing/stand-up/etc. company. Greg (who as you might know, I love) suggested “The Comedy Cozens.” While on the surface it may not seem like much, it holds a much deeper, far more important meaning to me. Now when I go out to perform on the road, I can ask for more up front because the name is plural sounding! They think there is more than just me coming! It’s like being called “Adam and the Gang”! I can charge for more! More moolah! Well, it makes sense to me.

I haven’t watched an American Idol this season. Not one glorious episode. I did however catch the clip of that kid on YouTube who chose to cover Chris Cornell’s cover of Michael Jackson’s song “Billie Jean” to what I deemed as marvelous results. I have heard all three versions and if properly credited like they claim, I think that it is great. Does that make me a bad person? I’m starting to think that it does!

I am still “officially” jobless. I say “officially” because I credit Rockworms as a paying gig, even though I have yet to see a single cheque and Craig says that we won’t be profitable for at least another year. But, it’s going on the resume anyway. Anyone need a writer’s assistant?

At what point in the life of a young, tall, heavyset black man does he make the decision on whether he is going to lead the life of a burly football player/bouncer/Phil Banks type or an effeminate, musical-loving homosexual? Those have thus far been the only two presented options. Maybe it is just the towns I have lived in (Seattle, L.A. and NYC), but when you are a brother standing 6’3” and over 3 bills, you are either the toughest guy in the world, or the biggest fruit in town. It’s bizarre.

New York is good, thanks for asking. We have nice weather here today in The Bronx.

I have been having very vivid dreams as of late. Why, even last night I can remember one that I had. It was my mom taking offense to some joke I was performing in which I referred to myself as the “love-child” of somebody. She somehow took great offense to this. In the dream I remember being semi-sympathetic. In reality, I would not.

I don’t know why the kids at Bayside hate Belding so much. His answer for everything was an afternoon of detention. Caught smoking? Detention. Cell phone in class? Detention. Drunken vehicular man-slaughter in the parking lot? Detention. It seems like a pretty laid-back dude. It’s like he never heard of the TV principles favorite method of discipline: the threat of “The Permanent Record.” I have never seen my fabled “permanent record” (if one ever existed), but 80’s TV made them sound like a manila-bound death sentence. I remember when I transferred high schools that “my files” were requested, and I always assumed that they were my grades and transcripts and stuff. Could that have been my “permanent record”? What all goes into a “P.R.?” How grievous does an incident have to be to find inclusion in a student’s book of record? Teachers out there, I expect answers!

When you double-park your car if front of my building, you make me cry.

According to nosey news-sources Beyonce and Jay-Z got married a few weeks back. Despite my incredibly-brief friendship with Beyonce’s sister Solange, I was not invited. She must not have had my current address.

I am a little nervous that I am going to eat through my entire three-pound box of Cheez-It’s in a day or two. And while we are on the subject of Cheez-It’s, why no “e”? Do they WANT kids to learn to spell improperly? I sure hope not.

I really can’t tell what to make of the current New York City stand-up scene. On one hand, a lot of younger, budding talent is getting the opportunity to perform in front of paying crowds at “name” clubs which is always a big thrill, but on the other hand, the poor Times Square tourists who get roped into taking in a nightcap at these spots are paying their good money to pretty much see what has turned into the equivalent of an open-mic night. What we have now is club owners, using the comics as mere eye-candy in order to push drinks, ala the “Hooters”/chicken wings partnership. While clubs nationwide have the (sadly) standard “two-drink minimum”, when the public attends most of these gigs, they are going, knowing for the most part what they were going to get. Whenever I went to a comedy club in L.A. or Seattle, I went because of the quality of the talent. I venture to say, many places are like that. But New York has the blessing of having an overabundance of struggling comedians willing to PAY for stage-time and that has diluted the “main-stage” product. Now I can go to a big-name reputable club on a weekend and see, at best, 2 “pro” comics and 8 people who have been outside barking for their chance to perform. I am all for more opportunity for the comics, but I don’t like it coming at the expense of the paying community.

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