Nick Jonas Has a Love Child!!!!

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Written by Adam Cozens

Well, OK, not really.

I mean, he might (and if he does, YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!!!!), but not that I know of. Come to think of it, he probably doesn't. I think one has to reach puberty before they can procreate. At least that is what I learned in public school. But still, the Jonass Brothers totally suck.

I know, I know. What an original and timely sentiment it was that I just expressed. Look at me, "breaking the mold" and declaring that the Jonas family three-some is in dire near of euthenasia. What a rebel I am! Daring cross the Disney-produced darlings with my

But whatever. I think they are just atrocious. Are they geared or aimed at me and my tastes? No. So why am I upset? I dunno. I just am. I can't explain it. I really get truly angered towards these three Hanson rip-offs. Maybe that is what it is. I hated Hanson, but as the years have gone by I have been able to look back and see their musical talent, no matter how small. I don't see any of that with this current tween-scene trio.

And Perez LOVES the three boys. The three teenage boys. Perez Hilton loves these three innocent teenage boys. Shouldn't that be a cause for concern? Shouldn't we be sheltering them from his garlic-scented