Yes, its true. Your fabulously humble music writer (and water aficionado) Adam Cozens, DOES live in New York City. But to clear the air before I get any more texts about it from your die-hard readers, no, I was sadly NOT there live to witness Bono & the Boys temporarily christen “U2 Way” outside of David Letterman’s office (I was instead downtown purchasing the worlds ugliest hoodie. Jealous much?).
But y’know…NOT being part of something special isn’t very fun. Lets pretend I WAS there. And without further ado, my special report coming to you LIVE (!!!) from the corner of Broadway and W 53rd St, aka U2 WAY!
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5:55am: (sound of alarm clock) BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
5:57am: (grumbling) UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!!!
635: (sound of alarm clock, again) BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
6:35am: (springing frantically from bed) AAAHH!!! I’m late! I have to go witness U2 get a street named after them/possibly assassinated!
7:25am: (walking to subway, arms wrapped around body like a feeble woman, shivering) It is so motherf*cking cold out here. There is no way I am going to stand out in the cold that long to watch U2 get a street temporarily named after them. I’m going back to bed.
SCENE!
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So it turns out I didn’t miss much by sleeping in and going shopping today because judging by the above, way-too-accurate scene, I wouldn’t have made it there anyway.
Photo credit: Gawker.com
